When former Winnipeg firefighter Andrew Cherkas decided to walk across Manitoba in support of his fellow first responders who are struggling with their well-being, he didn't account for them coming to his rescue.
The 43-year-old witnessed tragedy almost daily on duty — deaths of children and his own relatives — and it caught up to him.
"They were devastating for me. I had a lot of guilt," he said, his voice choked by tears. "It was really tough to process. I don't know if I've processed it yet."
After going through various doctors, medications and return-to-work plans, Cherkas hung up his gear and moved to the country, south of Portage la Prairie, where he found refuge in nature.
He also found a job akin to his former one but much less stressful, as an aircraft rescue firefighter with Canadian Base Operators.
"We don't run medical calls, which is a huge trigger for me," Cherkas said.
But the clutch of Winnipeg wouldn't let go. He started getting regular phone calls from former colleagues, asking how things were "on the other side." They expressed the challenges they were having and asked for coping advice.
Cherkas decided to put his walking remedy toward fighting ghosts for more people than himself. He floated the idea last April of doing a big fundraising walk.
"The Winnipeg fire department had just lost Preston [Heinbigner] close to that time and I thought maybe I could do it in his honour," he said.
The plan was to start at the Saskatchewan border and walk east across Manitoba to Ontario, a distance of 489 kilometres. The walk was named Steppin' in Support for 1977, a reference to Heinbigner's WFPS regimental number.
"I kind of put it out into the universe as something I was going to be doing, and let it get some traction," Cherkas said.
After some more prep time, he hit the pavement on Sept. 10 with a plan to complete the walk on Sept. 21.
He was alone for the first part but soon had fellow firefighters following in vehicles or walking alongside him for a distance. But around Oakville, about 50 kilometres west of Winnipeg, Cherkas started getting sharp pains in his shins.
About 15 km further east from there he was met by Nick Kasper, president of United Fire Fighters of Winnipeg.
"He had a quick chat with me about how much this is doing for the firefighting community," Cherkas said. "I was kind of trying to hide back some tears because I knew I wasn't doing well and I didn't know how long I'd be able to keep going."
There was no hiding. Kasper knew.
"His shoelaces were untied and he's just limping along his legs are taped up," Kasper said. "I thought it was such an incredible endeavour. We were behind him all the way. We couldn't be prouder."
Cherkas managed to reach Elie, Man., where he was met by another firefighter set to walk with him to Winnipeg's Perimeter Highway.
They went 12 km when Cherkas had to tap out, his feet blistered and swollen, his shin splints giving him "unbearable pain."
Cherkas got a ride home where he could rest and try again the next day. When the morning didn't bring relief he came up with an idea "to share the load between a number of firefighters" and ensure the final 197 km to Ontario didn't go unfinished.
He put a message out on Facebook that he was looking for 10 firefighters to split the remaining distance, which would work out to a serendipitous 19.77 km apiece — Heinbigner's number.
"I think it was maybe 20 minutes and I had enough people volunteering," Cherkas said.
He'd hoped to do it in a baton-passing way to hand off each stretch along the exact route Cherkas had planned out, but it just wasn't lining up. So the idea was changed to each participant doing 19.77 km around their own area.
"I'm really proud of them for stepping up," Cherkas said.
The effort has so far raised $22,630 of a $35,000 GoFundMe goal. The final 19.77 km will be completed Sept. 28, but the end of the walk was never the goal, Cherkas said.
"It's kind of what's happening now, and everybody talking about it … and shining a light on PTSD and mental health," he said.
Kasper said he couldn't agree more.
"It almost turned it into a more powerful story with everybody else stepping up and stepping in to help him. And it really just embodies what it means to be a firefighter," he said.
All funds raised will go to The Preston Heinbigner Memorial Fund, set up by Heinbigner's wife through the Winnipeg Foundation. It's used to send Manitoba firefighters in need to a residential treatment program in British Columbia.
Ultimately, the goal of the Preston Heinbigner Memorial Fund is to establish a treatment centre in Manitoba.
Cherkas knew Heinbigner and worked with him at major scenes. The two weren't close friends "but I was very personally close to his story," Cherkas said.
"He struck me as the kind of person that was happy-go-lucky, [he] lit up a room, loved being a firefighter … one of the last people you'd think was struggling."
Cherkas' resolve to help is driven by the same thoughts that kept him walking when the pain started.
"I was thinking if there's a firefighter just getting off shift who's sitting in their basement, maybe crying their eyes out, maybe screaming at their family, maybe abusing a substance, maybe isolating themselves — just doing whatever they need to get through their day because of what they had to witness that last shift.
"That's a lot harder than what I'm doing."